I Have a Confession.

I feel terrible about it. It happened at the mall on Saturday and it just spun out of control.

We (meaning Ryan and me) were at Macy's boot shopping for my big day.
When we got there I was little surprised by what I saw. Boots toppled over on every display. Shoes strewn across the floor. Impatient customers hemming and hawing. Hmmmmm.......Yard sale at Macy's????? Interesting. I looked over at a sales rep. Harried and fatigued. Yes, it would appear that Macy's had had a long and busy day. I'd look around anyway.

I found some grey boots to try on and sent my helper back into the great abyss of "Shoe Land" , knowing very well it could take up to 15 minutes before she re-emerged. As I was waiting, an unknown woman approached me wearing two different boots. She asked me my opinion and I said I liked the brown boots. In fact, I really liked the brown boots. I continued to eye them as she paraded back and forth in front of me. Where were those boots? I had combed the area looking at all of them and I had not seen those anywhere. Just then my sales lady brought me my grey boots to try on. I saw the afore-mentioned woman eyeing them. Then I heard her ask my sales rep if she could get a pair of "those grey boots." No. Unfortunately, I had the last pair unless you have elfin feet and can sport a size 6. Disappointed, the woman turned back to her chair about 15 feet from where Ryan and I were sitting. I watched her eye my boots as I tried them on. She watched me from the corner of her eye and wouldn't stop. Like my boots, indeed. Then I watched her put on her shoes, grab her purse and leave.

Well. At least I can wear my boots without vulture eyes, I thought. Yes, I liked the grey. But the brown ones the other lady had tried on were cute too. I couldn't seem to find them anywhere in Yard Sale Villa. She had roughly the same size as me because I heard her request it. And I knew she was waiting around for the last pair of grey boots that I possessed. On impulse I turned to Ryan and said, "Go grab those brown boots and I'll try them on really quickly." After all, where was my sales lady?

Ryan went over and grabbed them just as another woman grabbed a pair of shoes from the same stock pile. He brought them back. Ten seconds later Grey-Boots-Lover came back. Oops. Without thinking I hissed to Ryan, "Put them under your chair." He obliged. I couldn't bear to look over, guilty as I was, so I asked Ryan (who apparently does not suffer from any sort of conscience) for a play by play. She was definitely looking for her brown boots. Shoot. I risked a glance. Now she was asking the other woman (remember the one who also stole a pair of shoes from the pile???) if she knew what happened to the boots. I couldn't hear what was being said but I could see two accusing looks being thrown my way and a dark finger pointing in my direction. I looked over innocently wide-eyed and saw a frowny face looking right back at me.

I won't lie. I felt as though I'd just committed a crime. If not a felony, then at least a misdemeanor. Then I left to "peruse" more boots. Actually I was just trying to avoid a confrontation. I watched Grey-Boots-Lover try another pair of shoes on and walk away from the chair. I booked it over to Ryan and gave him the Put-The-Boots-Back-NOW look. He paused a half a second.

That half-second got him caught. And I never even tried them on.