All in a Day's Work

Kyson.

He had a bad week. Or should I say, he had an adventurous week and I had the bad week. Where to start?

Maybe with the "accidental" pooping in his underwear? Followed by the "accidental" peeing in his pants and then on his shirt 30 minutes later. (He spent the rest of the day naked.) Or perhaps the "accident" on the bathroom floor that I found while I was cleaning up a blow-out from Shayli.

No, no, no. I'll start with the story of Kyson trying to drive away in my car. That's right. I found him in the car with the keys in the ignition and the radio blasting. And then I'll follow that story with the 100 meter sprint I participated in while trying to catch up with the "Lightening McQueen" on training wheels. I was trying to stop my little Kyson from riding his bike into the highway after he so quickly raced through the front gates of our neighborhood. Luckily I was fast enough to stop him.

And then I'll talk about how he hangs on the garage while it is on it's way up and then dangles his little legs and drops to the ground unharmed. Except sometimes he makes it to the top and then needs mommy to save him. But not often does he need saved. Because he is invincible. Or so he believes.

And then I'll finish with the story of Kyson escaping the "compound" otherwise known as "home." I'll talk about how I keep the front door dead-bolted with an additional latch at the top so the kids can't reach it and how we have a padlock on the gate so the kids can't leave and how I use the secret lock on the garage so no one can open the garage without me.

And then I'll hint about sometimes tuning out while I'm nursing Shayli and after 10 minutes of peace I'll start to realize something is terribly wrong because I haven't been hounded for anything and I havn't seen or heard from Kyson in about 15 minutes. Which is what happened.

By then it will be time to tell you about how I started to check all of my "compound" locks to make sure there hadn't been any oversights and how then I double-checked and still no sign of Kyson. Next I checked all closets and closed doors including inside the car. And by now I'm starting to feel slightly faint and panicky because I'm remembering how the cops frown upon you if you wait even 20 minutes before calling 9-1-1 in an emergency and all of a sudden the crazy mother is the prime suspect. How much time has passed?!?

AAARRRGGGGGHHHH.

And then you'll be ready to hear how I raced out the front door certain my son had somehow bypassed all locks and how, even I, am starting to think he is invincible and possibly a superhero.

Are you ready for what happens next? The neighbor comes strolling down the hill with my little superhero in tow. Where was he, you ask? Patrolling the neighborhood and fighting crime. And what was his method of escape? Climbing our 6 foot fence and dropping neatly to the ground. Superhero. I'm sure his realization of freedom was quite intoxicating. His little hands were pretty torn up but who cares? He discovered a means of escape. *Sigh*

We celebrate every day that Kyson is still with us. He should be dead by now, the little stinker. But the good news is our "super-special" week came to an end and Kyson is still alive. Thank goodness that even superheroes need to take a break every now and then! ;)